Let's Play Ball
by turtlegirl42
Summary: What would happen if super villains and superheroes played a game of baseball? You're about to find out!
1. Ideas and Meetings

Let's Play Ball

Author's Note: This is a parody on most of the Marvel superheroes and super villains. I mean, it probably would never happen, but…

Anyway, this was collaborated with the user spittlebug. Many thanks to this user for her help. Enjoy…!

Chapter 1—Ideas and Meetings

It was another boring, but busy day at the offices of S.H.I.E.L.D. That is, until Nick Fury received the videotape. It came in a package that was marked URGENT.

_This better be something important_, Colonel Fury thought, sticking the tape in the VCR. _I'm extremely busy today_.

Doctor Doom popped up on the screen. "Nick Fury," the recorded image said.

"Doom," Fury snarled, even though he knew that the super villain wasn't live. "What do you want this time?"

Suprisingly, the self-proclaimed ruler of Latveria seemed quite relaxed. "I have sent you this message to inquire whether you and the other so-called "heroes" would wish to match wits with us in a game of tenacity, agility, and wit.

"I am inviting you to play baseball with us. Because, and this is just my opinion, attempting to take over the world gets a little boring after, oh, 504 tries." Doctor Doom sighed and waved a hand. "So, since I don't have anything better to do than to torture people, let us try something new. Ask your fellow superheroes what they think. I am giving you two weeks to reply to this message before I try something really nasty, like blowing up the United Nations. Doom out." And with that, the video ended into static.

Nick Fury took out the tape and turned it in his hands. So, Doom wanted to play a game of baseball, huh? Well, if it was up to Fury, he'd send his reply back to Doom that day. A baseball game? Ha! He knew that he and the others could beat Doom any day blindfolded. But he'd have to ask the team first…

* * *

A week later, Colonel Fury surveyed the superheroes assembled before him. They all looked apprehensive and wary. Usually when he called them all together like this, it was for something like giant monsters taking over the world. Fury was pleased that this time it wasn't the case. "I have called you all here today to discuss something important, but not a matter of national security." The head of S.H.I.E.L.D. could almost hear the silent sighs of relief. He held out the tape that Doom had sent him and fed it to the VCR. "A few days ago I received a video tape from Doctor Doom. I'm going to show it now."

After the tape had ended, the superheroes looked momentarily stunned. Then they all broke out into chatter.

"What is this 'baseball' that Doom speaks of?" Thor asked incredulously.

"But do we trust them?" commented the Black Panther.

"Oh, great!" Spiderman said. "Now we have _another_ excuse to beat each other up."

All of the heroes began adding their opinions to the mix, until finally, it got too loud. Fury slammed his fist on the table and yelled, "ENOUGH!"

When the cacophony had ended, Fury straightened himself and continued. "We're going to have a vote. Any questions before we vote on Doom's proposal?"

Mr. Fantastic nodded. "I do. I think that this is a great idea, but what if it's all an elaborate trap?"

"I was thinking the same thing. What if they attack us during the game?" Storm added.

"We don't know," Fury admitted. "We'll have to trust them. But if they do try anything funny, don't hesitate to fight back. Besides, this is only in the planning stages. We'll figure that out later. Any more questions?" Silence answered him. "Alright, then. Raise your hand if you want to play a game of baseball against our enemies."

Every single hand, including Fury's, shot straight up. "That's unanimous, then. We're going to play baseball."

"Now we should sort out the details," Iron Man stated. "First of all, we need a name for our baseball team."

"Yeah. We need a unique name. Something that shows what side we're on—what we fight for," Spiderman added, serious for once.

"How about the S.H.I.E.L.D.'s?" Deadpool wisecracked. "_That_ will show them what side we're on."

Everyone ignored him. Then Captain America made a suggestion that stuck. "How about the All-Star Alliance?" he asked.

All of the superheroes nodded and voiced their affirmatives.

"That sounds good," Ghost Rider said.

"A creative name, indeed," Doctor Strange mused.

Fury nodded. "The All-Star Alliance it is. The other details, and try-outs, will be discussed next week. You are all dismissed."

The superheroes filed out, talking about the plan among themselves.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

In his sub-basement hideout in New York City, Doctor Doom had summoned forth all of the villains that he possibly could in two weeks. He looked down upon them from a podium. _Pretty good turnout_, he thought.

He and the others were waiting for a particular villain—_rap rap rap_. Ah. There he was.

Doctor Doom opened the door, and in stepped Dr. Otto Octavius in an orange prison jumpsuit. "Sorry I'm late," he said. "I was breaking out of prison."

Magneto, sitting in a corner, smirked. "Obviously. Nice jumpsuit, Ock."

Doc Ock glared at the metal-manipulating mutant. "I should kill you where you stand for mocking me, fool."

Magneto laughed at Ock. "Really. Don't make idle threats. I could snap those silly little arms of yours in two, if I wanted to."

Ock snorted. "You couldn't possibly do that."

"I can, and I will. Try me." Magneto replied smugly.

"That is enough!" Doom said, intervening. "There will be no fighting here."

After the situation had been smoothly resolved, Doom began to speak. "I suppose you are all wondering why I have called you here," he said.

Mumbled affirmatives came from the crowd.

"Well, aren't you all sick and tired of _losing_ to the so-called superheroes? Haven't you had enough of them foiling our plans??" Doctor Doom raised his arm up. "This is our chance for VICTORY!" he yelled. He then folded his arms. "I have invited the superheroes to play baseball with us."

MODOK, floating near the back of the crowd, laughed. "Baseball?!? Are you kidding? That's ridiculous!"

Others voiced their protest to the seemingly idiotic plan.

"SILENCE!" Doctor Doom boomed. He waved a sheet of paper. "I have already offered this idea to our little friends, and this is a confirmation letter from Colonel Nick Fury himself.

The attitude in the villains visible changed.

"Maybe this isn't such a bad idea after all," Rhino remarked.

"What is your plan, Doom?" Mandarin asked.

"The plan is to win the baseball game, and when the heroes get upset from suffering defeat, we will attack and wipe them out, one by one."

Doc Ock grinned. "That actually sounds like a good plan. I'm definitely in."

Magneto nodded. "As am I and the rest of the Brotherhood."

Venom looked skeptical. "What if we lose?" he hissed.

"We cannot lose," Doom declared. "It is a win-win situation."

* * *

Author's Note: Thank you for taking the time to read my fanfiction, and don't forget to review!


	2. Try Outs Part One

**Let's Play Ball**

**Chapter Two—The Tryouts, Part One**

* * *

It was a bright and sunny spring day in Salem Center. Professor Charles Xavier wheeled himself down to the baseball diamond, where most of his fellow X-Men and other superheroes were gathering.

Professor Xavier had been asked by Colonel Fury from S.H.I.E.L.D if the superheroes could use the baseball field at his exclusive school for mutants. It's small, Fury had said, but it's suitable.

For tryouts, Professor X later learned.

Tryouts so they could play baseball against the super villains.

Xavier sighed as he reached one of the dugouts. "_Baseball?_" he had asked incredulously when Bobby Drake had told him."_Yeah_," Bobby had answered enthusiastically. "_It'll be fun_."

At first, he had though that his X-Men were under psionic control somehow. But after checking thoroughly, Xavier found that they were all of sound mind. The leader of the X-Men couldn't phantom why they wanted to do something so, so…silly.

Professor Xavier sighed again as he watched the superheroes talking and laughing. He knew that they just wanted to have a little fun.

Though personally, his idea of "fun" wasn't battling his mortal enemies in a carefree sport.

Xavier watched as Nick Fury walked onto the baseball field. He noticed Professor X sitting in the dugout and walked over to him. "Decided to come and watch after all?" the head of S.H.I.E.L.D. asked him.

The leader of the X-Men nodded._ Against my better judgment_, he thought, but didn't say this out loud.

"Good," Fury replied, putting a hand on Xavier's shoulder. "I don't think you'll be disappointed." He called all the other superheroes over. About thirty or so heroes flocked toward Fury.

"Alright," he began. "First off, I'd like to thank Professor Xavier for letting us use this facility temporarily. Otherwise, we wouldn't be here today."

"Secondly, I'd like to say that these tryouts are going to be as fair and as smooth as possible. We're not going to have any fights over who should get on the team. Besides, we're going to have bench players, too. And also, I'm going to need some commentators and an umpire. If you're interested in that, just come to me. Any questions? No? Then let's get on with it. We'll be starting with fielding positions."

And thus the tryouts began. Most of the heroes were surprisingly good at fielding. Well, except for Thor.

Nick Fury tried one more time, throwing the baseball with a flick of the wrist to the God of Thunder. Just like the last twenty times before that, when the ball reached him, Thor took out his hammer and smacked the ball clear into the bleachers.

Colonel Fury slammed his glove to the ground and marched over to Thor, getting right in his face. "How many times do I have to tell you, Thor?!? This is FIELDING. When you're FIELDING, you have to CATCH the ball, not hit it! Geez…"

Thor seemed unperturbed. "Of course, Colonel. I will try my best." The next time Fury threw the ball towards Thor, he flew up and caught it perfectly.

Xavier had to smile to himself as he watched his X-Men play with gusto. They were all far better than any major league player he had ever seen, though admittedly, he hadn't seen that many. Still, they were all good. Very good. It made him wonder how the team of super villains would be. _Doubtless, they still will still be a match against this team_, he thought. _After all, they have superpowers too_.

Next it was time for batting. Thor ended up being the first to bat. Nick Fury hoped that the Asgardian god would do alright this time. He threw the ball—and Thor dropped his hammer and caught the ball. "Sonuvabitch," Fury muttered under his breath.

All of the other heroes performed exceedingly well, most of them not actually using their powers. An exception was Susan Richards.

Just as Fury was about to throw his pitch, the wife of Mr. Fantastic turned invisible, leaving a baseball bat hovering in midair. Startled, Fury messed up his throw, making a wide ball.

The rest of the tryouts were uneventful for the most part. After the heroes had all had a barbeque lunch, Colonel Fury gathered all of the superheroes around. He waved a paper in his hand. "The coaches—that's me, Hank Pym, Dum Dum Dugan, and Bruce Banner—have decided the starting lineup."

"Did I get in?" Thor asked excitedly.

The head of S.H.I.E.L.D. gave Thor an icy glare. "No," he replied seriously, "you did not."

The god of thunder pouted. "I did not make the team," he said sadly. "What a shame."

Captain America patted Thor's shoulder. "It's alright. You can still come and watch."

Thor brightened. "Yes! I will bring all of my friends."

Fury cleared his throat. "Anyway, here's the starting lineup."

"Wolverine, you're first baseman. Iron Man, you'll be second baseman. The third baseman is Spiderman, and Daredevil, you'll be covering left field. Storm, you'll be covering center field and Captain America, you're the right fielder. Ghost Rider, you're shortstop. The starting pitcher will be Nightcrawler and the starting catcher will be the Thing. Is everyone satisfied with their positions?"

Everyone voiced their approval. "Alright then. The relief pitcher will be Mr. Fantastic, Deadpool will be relief catcher, and Iceman, Doctor Strange, Invisible Woman, the Black Panther and the Vision will be bench players. You can all go back up to the X-Mansion now, where we're going to do uniform fittings for those who were chosen for the team. Any questions?"

Iron Man raised a hand. _Damn, why does he always have to ask the questions?_ Fury thought. "What is it, Tony?" the Colonel replied aloud.

"I was wondering where we are going to play the actual game. I mean, we would need a stadium of a large size."

"I've already discussed it with the President, and I figured we could use the old Yankees stadium. It's going to be a top-secret priority, and we'll be covering the perimeter with S.H.I.E.L.D. agents while we're playing. Does that answer your question, Iron Man?"

"Yes, yes, it does."

Professor Xavier raised his arm up. "I would like to ask who the umpire will be. It needs to be someone of a neutral party. Someone who can make unbiased decisions."

Fury pointed a finger at the professor. "I have a person who would be great for that job. I'll be contacting the Silver Surfer within the next week and asking him if he'd like to volunteer to be our umpire."

"I agree," Mr. Fantastic replied, "he's a great choice."

"Well, that just about wraps everything up," Colonel Fury concluded. "I'll be sure to keep everyone updated about progress about our location and the date. Everyone who made the team, please come up to the X-Mansion to get your uniforms fitted."

* * *

Later that day, in the locker room of the X-Mansion, Wolverine rubbed his face with a towel. "Boy, what a workout!" he breathed.

The clawed mutant turned to Nightcrawler, who was passing a baseball back and forth between his hands. "So, whaddaya think, Kurt? You ready to show the baddies what we're made of?"

The blue mutant shrugged. "I was actually surprised to be put on the team. I've never played baseball much, let alone pitching."

Wolverine smiled at his fellow X-Man. "Well, you sure did a heck of a job today. You'll blow everyone away, bub."

Just then, the Thing walked in. "Oh, heya, guys."

Both of the X-Men murmured hellos.

"I jus' got my uniform fitted by Hank Pym. I tried on the biggest size he had. Heh! He finally gave up—I'm going to have to get a custom-tailored one!" The Thing laughed to himself as he went into the handicapped bathroom stall.

"Well, I just hope that the Professor won't be too mad. I know that he dislikes this whole baseball thing," Nightcrawler said uneasily.

"He's fine with it," Wolverine replied confidently. "The professor knows that we just want to have a little fun."

Iceman strode in. "Hey, guys! How are you? I can't wait to kick ass!" He went over to one of the urinals.

"Damn, that punk pisses me off," Wolverine whispered to Nightcrawler.

"I wouldn't tell that to his face," the dark blue mutant whispered back.

Suddenly they heard someone whistling. The source of the whistling was none other than Deadpool.

Wolverine grimaced. "C'mon, Kurt. It's about time we left." He led his fellow X-Man toward a back exit.

As Nightcrawler left with Wolverine, the last thing he heard was Deadpool belting out "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" at the top of his lungs.

* * *

**Author's Note:** Next up, the villain try-outs!

I'd like to thank several users: spittlebug for writing this chapter, solarmoon59 for making this possible, and Sunflare2k5 and Ghost in the Machine for their helpful and informative reviews.

Until next time, and please do review!


	3. Try Outs Part Two

Chapter Three—The Tryouts Part Two

* * *

Doctor Doom Lockheed over the podium at his fellow cohorts. This was the second meeting in a month concerning the proposal he had made.

To play baseball with the superheroes.

"I have called you forth today, as you know," Doom began "to hold tryouts for our baseball team." He folded his hands on the podium. "Does anyone here have previous experience with baseball?"

"Does Little League count?" Juggernaut asked from the back of the room.

"No, you blithering idiot, Little League does not and will not count," Doctor Doom declared. He waved a hand. "Now, is there anyone here with _real _baseball experience?"

Bullseye stood up, grinning. "Well, I'm a damn good pitcher with _actual_ experience," he said, glaring at Juggernaut.

"I almost made it to the pros," Boomerang declared proudly.

"Has anyone else had experience with baseball? No? Then let us disperse," Doctor Doom said.

"Hey, wait just a minute! Where the heck are we going?" Electro asked.

"We are going to a place to hold tryouts. Follow me."

* * *

An hour later, Doctor Doom placed his hands on his hips as all the supervillains stood atop a hill in Central Park. He surveyed the area below him and nodded. "Yes, this is it. This is where we shall hold the tryouts."

The others looked down to see an adequate-sized playing field—on which Little Leaguers were playing.

"You have _got_ to be kidding me," Radioactive Man grumbled.

Doom held up a hand. "I'll go talk to them," he said. "I will be back in a few moments."

Doctor Doom strode down the hill, reaching the playing field and standing just outside of the fence, trying not to make too big of a fuss, but hoping to get noticed.

"And just what do you think you're doing?"

Doom turned around to see an angry-looking coach, his baseball cap tilted downwards to keep the sun from hitting his face. "Get off the field," the coach told Doom, not fazed in the slightest by his intimidating mask and cape.

Doom stood his ground. "I will ask you and your children to now leave the playing field peacefully."

The coach scoffed. "And why the hell would I do that? These kids have a big game coming up. And just because you dressed up as Doctor Doom doesn't mean I'm going to forfeit my playing field."

"I assure that I _am_ Doctor Doom. I will ask you one more time to get off the playing field before I annihilate you."

A look of pure terror crossed the man's face. "Well, uh…I've got to talk to the other coaches first. I'll be right back." The coach disappeared into one of the dugouts.

Victor Von Doom went back up the hill. "The coach needs some _convincing_," he told his band of supervillains. "Follow me."

Doctor Doom, this time with his cohorts, tromped down the hill to meet the coach, who was teaching one of his Little Leaguers how to throw a curveball.

"Coach Wagner," the child said, "What are all those creepy people doing here?"

The coach looked up and saw Doctor Doom standing there, along with many other villains that he could name and recognize. "Uh…" he stammered.

Doom shoved him in the chest. "Leave the field if you value your life."

"Of-of course," the coach said nervously. Within minutes the field was empty.

"Now wouldn't have been easier if we'd just done that before," sighed Baron Mordo.

Doom merely gave the Baron a look that could have curdled cottage cheese. "Ock, do you have the equipment?"

"Yes," he grumbled. He extracted a bag of bats, balls, and other sports equipment from his coat with his tentacles.

Doom took the bag, making sure all of the equipment was still inside. Satisfied, he strode onto the field, the villains crowding around him.

"We have equipment, a playing field, and more importantly, we have players." Doom opened his arms wide. "Let the tryouts begin."

And so the criminals began to play. Bullseye was an excellent athlete and was instantly designated starting pitcher. Other criminals were designated positions by Doom as the day wore on.

Unfortunately, the villains couldn't finish their tryouts without at least a _little_ trouble…

* * *

Sandman was standing in right field, waiting for a ball to come in his direction, when he noticed something out of the corner of his eye. A bunch of clustered cars, armed men in uniforms…

Cops.

Sandman trudged over to Doom, who was on the pitcher's mound, tossing a ball to Bullseye.

"Doom." He jerked a thumb towards the edge of the field. "We've got company."

Doctor Doom said nothing but stormed over to the dugout, where several villains were waiting for their turn to bat. Doom pointed out two of them. "Ock; Magneto. The police have decided to show up. I want the two of you to go out there and get rid of them. I don't care how."

The two villains glared at each other.

"No," Magneto refused. "I will not work with that egotistical fool."

"Oh, no. I definitely think not."

"DON'T QUESTION ME!" Doom roared. "Go out there and get rid of them before they get cocky enough to walk on the field and open fire."

The two super villains grudgingly began to walk across the field while Doctor Doom resumed the tryouts.

"So, how shall we go about this?" Doc Ock asked Magneto. "We could easily kill all of them by ourselves."

Magneto squinted to where the law enforcement was clustered. "I don't know," he concluded. "I'd say there are at least fifty officers out there. It would be best if we collaborated, as much as either of us doesn't want to."

"In that case, what do you think would be the best course of action?"

"Don't ask _me_. You're the nuclear physicist, not I."

Ock narrowed his eyes. "Been looking me up, have you?"

"Actually, yes, I have. I have quite a…reliable contact."

The criminals walked in silence for a moment. "Perhaps we should just show them why it would not be wise to leave us alone," Magneto finally said.

The other nodded. "Sounds like a good idea. Even I didn't like the idea of killing that many people."

They approached the officers. The police officer at the front of the group pulled out his handgun, pointing it at the villains. "Don't move! Slowly put your hands over your heads! NOW!"

The two of them laughed at the same time. Magneto raised a hand, and the officer's gun jerked itself out of his hands, turning around and pointing it at the cop.

"What—what are you doing?!? Stay—stay back, guys! Stay—"

The officer screamed as the revolver shot him in the leg. Magneto smiled. "That isn't half of what I, or my cohort, is capable of. If you were wise, you would take your men and leave now."

The officer motioned to his other men to leave, and they picked him up, his leg bleeding profusely. "Don't you think no one will hear about this," the cop threatened.

The officer, already injured, cried out as he was lifted clear off the ground by Doc Ock. He gave the squirming man a death glare. "If anyone _does_ hear about this, we'll kill you in your beds. All of you."

The officer knew that he meant it. "Okay, okay, we won't tell anyone! Please—please let me down now."

Ock lowered the man to the ground. "Now get the hell out of here before we change our minds and decide to be less…merciful."

All of the police were gone within seconds, glancing nervously back at the villains as they high-tailed it out of there.

Their job complete, the villains slowly made their way back to the dugout.

"I can see why you said I would be no match for you," Doctor Octopus noted.

Magneto waited a moment, as if he were in contemplation, to reply. "How painful would it be for you if one of those arms were cut off?" he asked.

Ock grimaced. "Very. They're connected to my nervous system. I feel whatever damage they take."

"Well, if you even ever _think _about attacking me, I will slowly tear those mechanical limbs off—all at the same time."

Doc Ock frowned. He didn't even _want_ to imagine the pain he would be in if Magneto did that. "Obviously, it would be wise not to fuck with you," he replied uneasily.

The victorious villains arrived back at the dugout, just as Doctor Doom was announcing the starting lineup.

"Mystique will be first baseman; second baseman will be Venom; Magneto will cover third. Doc Ock will be the left fielder, Mandarin will cover center field; the right field will be covered by Sandman and Ultron will be the shortstop. The starting catcher will be Rhino and Bullseye, of course, will be the starting pitcher. Boomerang will be the relief pitcher and the relief catcher is yet to be determined." Doom waved his hand. "Rest assured, bench players _will_ be needed, so don't get angry if you aren't in the starting lineup. Any questions?"

"Yeah," Electro piped up. "Aren't we going to have a name for our little team?"

"Hmm," Doom mused. "I hadn't thought of that." 

"I think the 'Furious Fiends' would be suitable," MODOK suggested offhandedly.

Everyone agreed that the name was perfect.

"I will be designing and ordering the uniforms—" Pyro cut Doom off short.

"Why the heck do we need uniforms? We already _have _our own costumes."

Doctor Doom gave Pyro a death glare. "Shut. Up."


	4. PreGame

**Author's Note: It's here! It's here! The long-awaited fourth chapter of the epic baseball story! Boo-ya!**

**Chapter Four: Pre-game**

The day of the baseball game had finally arrived. The sun was shining; there was not a cloud in sight. It was a perfect day for the ultimate showdown.

Most of the heroes were arriving to the stadium via the X-Jet. Nick Fury stood among them, relaying last-minute changes and instructions.

"Alright, then. The Silver Surfer can't make it, so Cap, would you mind being umpire?"

"It would be an honor, sir." Captain America was a fair and just hero, so he would be wholly accepted by both sides.

Fury continued. "Okay, that means we'll need a new right fielder. Someone tell Sue Richards that she'll be needed for the starting lineup. Elektra, you'll be a new bench player. Along with you, Luke Cage."

"Is one of the other players unavailable, Colonel?" Luke asked.

The head of S.H.I.E.L.D. nodded. "Dr. Strange said he had changed his mind and he'd rather watch than actually play. Is everyone set? Well, that's good, then. We're almost at the stadium."

Spider-Man picked up a bat and experimentally swung it at the air. He wasn't wearing a uniform, but had a baseball cap perched over the top of his mask.

"I'm so excited," he said enthusiastically. "Let's just hope the baddies play fair."

Wolverine, who was absentmindedly popping his claws in and out, spoke up. "Don't fool yourself, Spidey," he said. "You know that they'll never play fair. And while you're at it, why don't you put that bat away before you crack someone's frickin' skull open?"

Spider-Man sighed and grudgingly put the bat away. "Geez, you never let anyone have any fun, do you?"

"I just hope that they don't try to pick fights before the game," Storm said, continuing the conversation.

"Oh, you know they will," Deadpool piped up. "And I'm betting on Doctor Doom himself to cause trouble."

"Doom would never do something so foolish," Luke Cage countered.

"Hey, you never know."

"Buckle up, guys. We're landing," Cyclops called out from the cockpit.

Tony Stark swiftly glided down into the stadium. He checked out the hero dugouts, but no one seemed to be around. _Hmm_, he thought, _guess I arrived earlier than I thought_. Pepper and Jarvis weren't going to arrive until later, so he wandered over to the supervillian side of the field.

Iron Man observed that he wasn't the only one to have arrived early.

He spied Mandarin talking to Ultimo in hushed tones. They were both wearing baseball caps. _Ah, so they decided not to opt for uniforms_. In the end, the heroes had decided to trash the idea of uniforms also. Instead, they would wear team caps. Everyone who tried out received one, regardless of whether they were chosen for the team or not.

After all, who knew what would happen?

Tony Stark walked smugly over to the two villains. "Hello, Mandarin, Ultimo," he said politely.

"What are you doing here, Iron Man?" the Mandarin sneered. "You just want to figure out our plan to win, don't you? Well, you're not going to!"

Iron Man shrugged. "I'm doing no such thing," he said, "because I know we're going to win anyway."

Mandarin scoffed. "Pah! I will defeat you one and for all, Iron Man!"

Tony shrugged again. "Well, at least I didn't name myself after a citrus fruit."

Iron Man's greatest foe fumed in the bright sunlight. "Now you will face my wrath! Ultimo, kill him!" Mandarin roared.

Tony braced himself for a fight, but before Ultimo could move, the robot tipped over, paralyzed. "What are you doing, Ultimo? Kill Iron Man!"

"Initiating self-destruct sequence 10…9…8…"

Mandarin flipped around to see Magneto, who was obviously very amused. "You stop that and you stop that now, Magneto!"

Magneto made a tsk sound as he came closer, followed by other villains. Waving his hand nonchalantly, he ended Ultimo's countdown. "I am so ashamed of you, Mandarin," he said with a hint of sarcasm. "I thought that you of all people would not be so rash as to start a fight before the game."

The villain in question attempted to defend himself. "What's a pregame without a fight?" he said sheepishly.

"I don't know," Magneto shrugged. "But it's against the rules. You know that."

"He is right." Doctor Doom now stood behind the villains, towering above them. "Let us not bother with these petty fights and wait for the game to engage in battle. But for now, let's go back to the dugout." All the villains promptly left.

Tony was left standing dumbfounded. _I'll never understand evil dudes, _he thought to himself.

"Buncha weirdos." Iron Man turned around to see Wolverine standing behind him, arms folded in a relaxed manner. Wolverine did a double take. "Tony? You're here _early_? That must be a miracle in itself!"

Iron Man sighed. "Well, this isn't a meeting, Logan. You know how much I hate meetings."

Logan nodded. "Yeah. Riiiight. I heard that Johnny Storm was going to be the commentator. I wanna go see if those rumors are true or not."

"Sounds like a plan." Though Iron Man seriously doubted that the rumor was true, he couldn't help being curious.

Unfortunately, when the two of them reached the commentator's box, the person that turned around was the Human Torch in the flesh. "Hey, guys! What're you doing here? Did you come to see my amazing emcee skills?"

Wolverine groaned. "You have got to be kidding me," he said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, no, of course not!" Johnny grinned. "I was the only one that could get the job. Fury had no choice but to accept my exceptionally superior announcer charisma."

"And it attracts the ladies, right?" Iron Man asked.

"Hell yeah it does! Why, you wouldn't believe what happened when Elektra came in here…"

Logan tugged on Iron Man. "C'mon, let's get out of here while we have the chance."

As they headed back to the dugout, Logan couldn't help but say, "You really should be talking about 'ladies,' Tony."

Iron Man punched him.

Doctor Stephen Strange had not planned on babysitting. In fact, the thought had never even dawned on him.

But here he was, sitting in the bleachers, watching over Franklin Richards when he could be at home, studying an occult magazine or watching Antique Roadshow on television.

But how could he have refused Susan Richards? Though she was married, all of the male superheroes thought that she was hot, and Dr. Strange was no exception.

But Strange was not sure that Sue Richards' amazingly hot bod was worth all the pestering and questions of her only son.

Suddenly, he saw a flash of light near them. _Ah_, he thought slyly, _a distraction_. "Look," he said to Franklin, "it is Thor and his friends."

Franklin got excited at this. "Oh, really?"

"Yes, they come from another dimension called 'Asgard.' They seem to be headed in our direction."

Indeed, Thor and the Asgardians were coming to sit by Strange and Franklin Richards. Thor greeted Doctor Strange, shaking his hand. "Stephen Strange," he said, nodding. "It is good to see you, my friend."

"The same to you, Thor," Doctor Strange said politely. "This is Franklin Richards."

Thor shook Franklin's hand also. "Are you excited about the game, Doctor Strange?" the God of Thunder asked.

_No, not really,_ he thought to himself, but aloud he said, "Of course I am."

"Are you really?" Tyr, one of Thor's friends, asked.

"I am, really," Doctor Strange said unenthusiastically.

Heimdall grinned and said, "We should play this strange game for Asgard."

"FOR ASGARD!" Thor bellowed, swinging his hammer.

Tyr rolled his eyes. "You just had to get him started, didn't you?"

Meanwhile, in the dugout, the superheroes were starting to prepare for the game. "We are _so_ going to kick some whiny criminal butts," Spider-Man said eagerly.

"I am definitely looking forward to that," Luke Cage replied just as fervently.

Storm shrugged. "I'm just surprised to see that the villains haven't tried anything stupid yet."

"Well, I was put up by Mandarin…" Tony Stark began, only to be interrupted by Ghost Rider.

"Oh, stuff it, Iron Man," Ghost Rider said. "We all know that you instigated the fight."

Tony stood up. "Who told you that?" he asked defensively.

Ghost Rider shrugged and Captain America moved to change the subject. "Well, who knows," he said nervously. "There may be a bomb or explosive device in this very dugout."

"Do you think so?" Kurt Wagner spoke up. "Well, what is that, then?" The blue mutant pointed to an object on the ground. Elektra walked over to pick it up. The ninja's head flipped around as a look of panic swept across her face. "Let's get out of here! It's a pipe bomb!"

Nightcrawler immediately teleported out of the dugout, while the others hurriedly rushed to escape the bomb. After they were all safely out of the vicinity, the bomb went off, at which point Nick Fury rushed over to the heroes. "Is everyone all right?" he asked.

"Yeah, _now_ you come over," Spider-Man said angrily. "We could have been killed!"

Nick Fury shook his head. "Whoever set off that bomb didn't intend to kill anyone. I've got S.H.I.E.L.D. agents in there right now removing the bomb. Everything is fine now. We're ready to play the game."

"And now, folks, for the first time in history, we have superheroes playing super villains in a heated game of BASEBALL! I'm your host, Johnny Storm, here to take you through this momentous, historic game. There was just a little trouble earlier – some baddie had set a bomb in the heroes dugout. Well, to whoever just did that – we are going to whoop your asses! All of you! But for now, the game is beginning, the heroes are up to bat, and I am PUMPED! Woo-hoo! LET'S PLAY BALL!"


End file.
